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October 2000

Flee from Fleet!
Recent mergers harm consumers.
by Shai Sachs

The Death of Winter
Global warming: scarier than you thought.
by Julia Silvis

Napster Got My Gnuts
The mp3 debate gets out of hand.
by Brad Hershbein

Talkin' $acrifice
Americans don't appreciate public service.
by Nikhil Jaikumar

Feelin' Important!
PERSPECTIVE's voter registration guide for Election 2000.
by the PERSPECTIVE staff

Introspective
Starvation Chic
by Liz Thornberry

Salmagundi

Scraps

Backpage
Scooterdo's (and don'ts)
by Julia Silvis

Fashion has once again been exacting a cruel toll. This time, the culprit is not shoes, the typical offender, but scooters. Scooter-related injuries are up 700% since this March, when the sleek silver contraptions were marketed into the latest fad. While most of these injuries are not serious, a third of them do involve broken bones. The Department of Public Health considers this drastic increase to be worrisome, and is launching a campaign to educate consumers on proper scooter safety. We at Perspective are at least as concerned as the Department of Health about the safety and well-being of our readers, so for your benefit, we present a guide to scooter safety, as well as a peek at what’s next in the retro transportation craze, and how to protect yourself.

Scab-Free

It is recommended that the same padding worn roller-blading be worn by scooter drivers. This includes a helmet, wrist-guards, and knee and elbow pads. For the fashion conscious, Solid-Skull has developed a special helmet that allows it to be worn over several hairstyles, from pony tail to French twist to up-do, without messing them up. The investment of $90 for the silver model is well-worth it; one must arrive at the winter formal in the latest style, after all. The same company is also working of developing wrist guards that will allow for a superior grip of the scooters handles. As for the cumbersome knee and elbow pads, fear not, an interment start-up has recently taken over the hot niche of searching for the slimmest pads online. You can be svelte and safe at the same time using www.ihateskinnedkneesbutimustlookcool.com—it will find pads for any body part, from big toe to ear, and rate them on weight, density and thickness, cross-reference them by material and finally sort them by price. The site is a perfect illustration of how much time the internet saves Americans annually: think of all the time people were wasting on that before ihateskinnedkneesbutimustlookcool.com! We hope that you will avail yourself of their service and soon be scootering to the Quad in eye-catching safety.

The New Scooters

Scooters will soon be passe, their fad fading back into blissful obscurity. But other equally impractical methods of transportation will be marketed to take their place. Like the scooter, they will harken back to our carefree childhood years. As these "toys" are transplanted, safety gear will be the fashionable way to differentiate yourself from the ten-year old down the street and avoid unsightly wounds. Remember that scabs will never be trendy. Each vehicle, though, will demand its own protective strategy, custom designed to ensure that you at least triple the initial investment in the machine. Below is our list, chosen by Perspective’s world renowned style gurus, of the new scooters and the must have accessories, so that you can be ready to hit the streets at the front of the fad wave.

Wagons

Wagons offer several advantages over scooters. For one, their traditional red color always makes a statement, but deviations from that theme will earn you even more attention on your commute. Also, wagons have long been tacitly acknowledged to be the most romantic way to get from point A to the altar. What girl isn’t attracted to a guy who shows up for the first date with a polished Radio Flyer to tow her in? However, wagons present a potential for scrapes in some most unusual places. The Department of Health identifies Achilles tendon injuries as the most lasting hurt that can be sustained by improper wagon use. Using the wagon for self-propulsion increases the likelihood of this injury by almost 200%, so protection is key. Rear-shin guards, developed by Ibex, will allow you to go anywhere, anytime in your wagon with a confidence. These attach to the back of your leg, and the hard plastic protects the delicate tendons underneath from accident contact with the damaging edge of the wagon. Some models are designed to tuck into whatever shoes you might be wearing, but the most stylish options include a shoe and sell for a little less than $100.

Big Wheels

Because they offer a stability not found in the scooter, Big Wheels are likely to become the rage among more cautious sets. Soon there will not be a country club that doesn’t offer Big Wheel parking. Big Wheels do not pose any especial danger to wrists, but the seats can be a bit hard on the tailbone, so the accessory to have will be the forthcoming Buckler—a back-support and cushioning system developed to take the strain out of big wheel riding. Improper riding of big wheels, that is, using one’s feet to paddle rather than pedal, poses grave danger to the pilot. Feet can become caught under the wheels and scraped quite viciously. However, Coot has developed a sandal that is steel and will both allow one breathability and protection should one’s feet get stuck. But the ultimate Big Wheels accessory will be the Daytona style helmets to which these bikes so naturally lend themselves. Nascar-style decals afford a real way for riders to express their individuality.

So there you have it, the latest in fashion and precaution. We in the fashion department have one further caveat. With the drastic increase in non-walking locomotion, we fear that people will soon start tripping in record numbers. We can only recommend, the Surefoot, which not only prevents the misplaced toe, but serves the dual purpose of keeping your foot out of your mouth, an immensely valuable thing for section and paper-writing. While the current model is a bit clunky, we have faith the cyclical fashion trends will soon whittle it down to size.

Questions? Comments? Please contact perspy@hcs.harvard.edu